From the Heart

Life in my world these days has been a roller coater ride, at best. The business, stress, deadlines and expectations of the world seem to have weighed on my shoulders more than I ever thought it possible. With the tournaments, the research the studying and all the necessities of life, I've found difficult, at least, to focus my thoughts on priorities, to reflect on my faith in light of the future, and to really motivate myself to accomplish those goals that I have set. Striving under my own power has been a disaster; not only has it lead me to failure and humiliation, it's also drawn me further from the people I love and the God I serve. My life seems to be a struggle for balance and power. Balance between those I love here, and the One I serve always....Power struggles between Her as number one and my faith as number one. Never before have I faced such a war in my life. Fighting without knowledge of combat is dangerous and frightening, yet all I truly need is submission and faith in future, and hope in His plan. The answer to the upset, the heartache, the war, lies not with me, but with power stronger than I'll ever be. But bringing myself down low enough to ask for the strength beyond my own is something of a challenge. It's a challenge to submit, a call to learn, a command to carry out, an encouragement to live, and a mandate to hope...And why do I resist such power? Because of the slogan we know from birth, me myself and I. To break this is my goal. Refutation of such a narrow minded view on life must take place. A pattern of living for self-interest is the way to living a short unhappy life....Help me to see that.
Considering these thoughts I've been wrestling with, I've written a number of pieces that have, again, allowed me a somewhat helpful outlet to channel my feelings and lessons. This is me....my life, not yours. If you can learn I'll be happy to have accomplished something, but if not, enjoy my ramblings and thanks for stopping by :-)
Comments are always welcome on substance, grammar, verse, or feeling :-)

Learning,
~ Jon ~

The Joy of my Affection

My life feels so much for you,
Every part cries through me,
All emotion stops with you,
Your light you shine on life,
Your love I long to see,
To wonder in you again,
To revive, warm in your light,
To see you once again,
The joy of my affection.

All the thoughts of the day,
The worries and your cares,
Pass and wing their way,
To lofty hills above,
To sing their times abroad,
Whilst I remain, alone;
To weep, to pray, existence,
I ask for the end, for direction,
To see once again,

The joy of my affection.
Left here behind, I stand,
My mind traverses the hills,
My heart stays always with you,
Thinking of that glory day,
When reunited we shall be,
Hardship, toil, and strife,
To never show their face again,
I’ll stand by you once more
To face up to life, protection
As long as I see once again,
The joy of my affection.