Listening for that Voice

I simply don't understand how in the world life works. In spite of this, however, I don't find myself craving a perfect understanding of all the hidden and unknown factors that influence daily life. I've often thought that it'd be more than beneficial to know what would happen before it did, or to at least see some rationality in circumstantial happenings. But, as someone close to me recently pointed out, that knowledge would make life dull and blunt. The fact is that no one can see the future. No matter how much I want to find a way out of dark times, no matter how much I try in my own power to escape adversity, no matter how hard I try to change, I won't be able to do a thing. I am powerless, completely reliant on someone else to guide me and to light the path on which I trod, though it be for a very short distance. Many times when I'm feeling especially blue I really despise and resent my figurative blindness; I feel helpless and worn for any practical solutions. Yet, I forget what I do know, I forget what is promised me, I forget what is sure and I begin to drown in unknowns. Fortunately for the entirity of humanity, whom I imagine all experience these moments at times, Salvation from this is available, solid ground is waiting to rise from the sea to give us a fim place to stand, if we would but ask God for it. And, as ridiculous as it may sound, it's amazing how often, even after asking for and standing on that solid ground, I forget that it's there and begin to drown again in the waves of doubt and self-ambiguity.

The last work I posted addressed those feelings of sinking and darkness in which I had found myself struggling recently. But, having cried out for solid ground, the voracity of those previous feelings has gone, replaced with the feeling of rock beneath my feet, though it was there the whole time. Now, my vision is clearing, and I'm getting ready to stand - and only One knows what will happen from there.

The sequel I've written is long, but it figuratively portrays the catalyst for change to which I'm in debt. Of course actual lasting change is found God, but others frequently point in that direction and help us move along in that direction. So, enjoy: When it Rained - A Story Sequel.

~ Jon ~

Forest shades of wonder,
I walk in humble awe,
Of beauty strong like thunder,
Though emotions are so raw.

Tow’ring pillars of wood,
Whisper gently divine,
Like God’s creation should,
Displaying truths by design.

These my heart holds dear,
Friends and those I love,
I think about in here,
And remember her above.

For here my soul finds rest,
Light of good shines ‘round,
Gentle flowers show this best,
Smiling up from the ground.

And so the whispers in the leaves,
Touch upon my heart so close,
All the tales the wind breathes,
Rustle sounds of hope most…

My only world of peace,
Quiet sanctuary,
This place where sorrows cease,
And remembrances marry.

I walked on through fields of green,
Under shadows of the trees,
And the lights of the sun seen,
Led me to my knees.

There in the stillness of the wood,
And ebenezers all around,
My heart was shaken as I stood,
And I heard another sound.

The distant silence shattered,
As lightening tore the sky,
Rain then poured and battered,
My solitude [was] defied.

Yet though the storm was fierce,
The rumbling passed its course,
The sky, by lightening no more pierced,
And light rain fell without force.

I stood still in my forest new,
All was quiet, all was still,
The peace of steady rain was true,
I stood listening with a will.

No sound escaped the pat’ring rain,
No melody to raise my hopes
I listened harder, but in vain,
Like those thin strands dangling ropes.

And there, that dusk, I missed you more,
Than everything, than life itself,
But I’m still here and waiting for,
Your lovely, friendly, kindest wealth.

Now as I listened closely to,
The rain fall gently through the air,
I though I heard a song renew,
Like that to which none compare.
----
Song drifts upon my ears through rain,
The song I gave up long as dead,
I hear, but faint, and full of pain,
Once more it sang throughout my head.

How my heart had sought that song,
Melodious, beautiful, sweet,
Its wells sustained me, cleansed my wrongs,
Now heard again it moved my feet.

One more I moved along that path,
Slowly, still doubting my pure joy,
But fear of my own soul’s wrath,
Drew me faster as man not boy.

As I moved, the rain fell fast,
My thoughts they ran beside my feet,
Every doubt aside was cast,
All I wished was you to meet.

I flew along that empty road,
Your sweet voice sang on with each step,
Serene forest through which I strode,
Echoed with your song; I wept.

Rain of your song and tears of hope,
Ran down my face as I ran on,
These feelings now I can cope,
New clothes was I about to don.

I saw ahead through trees, a light,
It burned within a clearing small,
So powerful and gracious, bright,
Sending forth a melodic call.

My heart felt like floating on air,
My soul caught in rapturous height,
I gazed upon my love so fair,
All sound and noise faded that night.

With disbelief in every stride,
Trembling with the force of love,
My journey ended by your side,
You held my gaze like angels above.

The terror of that night you fell,
Is gone forever with you here,
I hold your hands and say all’s well,
And with joy – there’s naught to fear.

The light of moon and sun of day,
Shine down around your glor’yus face,
Everything I wanted to say,
I spoke those days in our embrace.

The work of God, created stars,
Solid woods, their beauty true,
All laugh their smiles like painting art,
While once again I hold only you…

Metaphorically ambiguous....

I was elated today to once again feel the those glorious pulsing bursts of original energy running through the fingers to my pen. The past few weeks have been tantamount to trudging down a long mountain path without any opportunity to rest or reflect - it's just been one task after another with little time in between. They say that hindsight is 20/20, and I find myself agreeing with that pithy bit of wisdom more after this past crazy month I think I ever have. It was an arduous marathon getting to this point in the present, but I'm very thankful for that time of focus, dedication and trial. To be completely honest, I wouldn't have really grown at all, spiritually, mentally etc. without the challenges of the past few weeks. However, this morning, I walked out of the church building and suddenly felt overwhelmed - a mood that usually leads directly to some sort of expression on paper for me :-) That thought having passed, I sat outside of church on a granite slab taking notes on some of my meager thoughts. The result is what's posted below, When it Rained. Lastly, I feel compelled to say that it's wonderful to have almost all of the burden of school from this past year lifted off of my shoulders for a time. I'm really looking forward to this Summer and I hope this will once again inspire some creativity within my soul :-) More to follow, more to come...

~ Jon ~

When it Rained

You’ve captured my heart,
I can never turn back,
To being normal me,
You’ve filled what I lack.

Our road travels on,
Many stories are told,
But the ones about you,
Just never grow old.

That when you sang,
All the times that you ran;
All times when you smile,
I remember I can…

These days were so sweet,
Mem’ries I hold dear,
Life simply was fun,
With you somewhere near.

But clouds then rolled in,
In – evit – able,
Sorrow tempered my joy,
I felt my heart strings pull.

I recall now the rain,
How it poured when you fell,
Like God weeping tears,
How I said all’s well…

My outside looked fine,
But inside I wept too,
I longed for those days to return,
My only wish is to hold you.

They think my life’s fine,
But they don’t see inside,
Your part of me was torn,
Ripped away – and I cried.

I wept not for me,
My heart’s used to pain,
But for the times that we had,
When I used to hear your voice in the rain…

(Please,) Bring her back again…

Silent Euphonic Melodies

One day, while listening to a beautiful offertory being played by pinao and flute, I suddenly had an epiphany. They don't happen often and they usually don't go very deep , but the strangest thought struck me, and became an instant source of fascination. The flutist was mic-ed really close; close enough to pick out her rapid breaths in between lines of music. Normally, I don't notice coughs, or breaths or other really small, potentially distracting fascits of music; however, for some reason, her breaths just stuck out to me as I was listening. I wasn't distracted by her breathing, rather, the entire performance was enhanced for this reason: I realized that the beautiful music being played depends SOLELY on those breaths - it seems so obvious, but without that breathing, there's no way that such beautiful music could be rendered. Just listening to breathing, whether it's the breath before a Louis Armstrong blast, the sweet sound of a singer drawing in the power to create the sounds of angels, or the rapid breaths of Mojo as he raps...I find myself amazed at the simple beauty of that sound - especially knowing that without breath, that beauty and creativity is impossible. It's quite a thought, and it was inspiring to me...enjo:y A Euphony of Breath.

~ Jon ~


A Euphony of Breath

A sleek harmonious language,
Spoken through music’s magicians,
A breath taken, hushed silence,
The artist cast her spell.

Transport to another world,
Riding on a crested wave,
A deep breath before the plunge,
Warm notes she then twirled.

With a lovely breath she plays her song,
I sit to watch, to listen, and hear,
The peaceful noise of one breath breathed,
Her lovely voice staid and strong.

The note was held, wondrous, long,
A rich sound and deep as oceans,
It pierced and shattered, warmed and calmed,
One clear note righted my heart’s wrong.

Her music held to glorious end,
Four measures completed,
With a fullness left to sing,
Her eyes traveled the next line to tend.

A thought of preparation passed,
She rose, inhaled and gained th’ pow’r,
Holding within the life of song,
Her lovely spell again she cast.

On she sang enchanting to the end,
Her song’s life ebbed and faded,
But lived again with every breath she drew,
Its power I thought my heart would rend.

The audience sat edged on their seats,
Song’s apex reached she drew once more,
I marveled at such simple charm,
Once more she took me down that blissful street.

She smiled again and sang her symphony,
Lifting her voice, descanting the finale,
She captured all with power of song,
But held my heart with her breath’s sweet euphony.

Winds of Reformation

Two days ago, I was sitting alone outside of our church between services just observing the beauty around me. As I sat and pondered theological intricacies, the economic plights of Third-World countries, and the huge problems in our political system...well, actually - just the basic meaning of life - I was suddenly aware of the soft tendrils of the breeze gently brushing across my face. Gradually, the breeze began to increase in strength - it started moving through the tops of the trees, sounding the crescendo of Spring-time harmonies. I sat and watched as the wind played it's course through the bushes, across the lawn and in the tumbling leaves. The clouds were pushed back and the warm light of the sun smiled down upon my lonely heart. I thought about the wind. As it breezed by, shuffling papers, it's soft, persuasive tones again brushed my thoughts, and reminded me of truth - truth carried on the winds of change, truth carried on winds of redemption, and hope carried on the wings of the wind. I remembered the sun, it's smiling face, and the hope born to all on the wings of His wind. Striving in my simplistic way to capture this amazing force, I pulled a pen from my bag and began to write these thoughts pulling on the fabric of my heart and mind. I wrote haltingly, hesitantly, trying to contain and express this great truth being screamed to the world through the deafening silence. Every part of me longed to fully embrace these winds of change, hope and love. All that was in me longed to share the renewing redemption with all the world - to sing till the whole world listened to the song of the King. Alas, my simple words, rough hands, and untrained mind failed to adequately expose the glory of the King and His song born on the wind - yet....yet, I was compelled to write. And so, with pen in hand, I lifted my rough, imperfect praise to His throne...and it was good.

Enjoy Wings of the Wind.

~ Jon ~


Wings of the Wind

Pushing, tearing,
Ripping, bearing,
--
The orchestral sound,
Of the wind playing now,
It's sounds of chaos,
Hauntingly resound.

Temporal, worldly
Blowing angrily,
--
It's courses have run,
Enough harm was done,
A new wind sweeps now,
The Life wind of His Son.

Spiritual, living,
Salvation it's giving,
--
Days despairair have passed,
All our limp banners,
Could fly brilliantly,
Faith rests in what will last.

Hasten, fly,
Accept, He forgives,
--
The sound of His voice
Inhabits the wind,
The time is right now,
Don't wait, make your choice.

Saving, redeeming,
His hope brings meaning,
--
Stand right where you are,
And bask in new wind,
Receive with open arms,
New life in your heart.

Loving, caring,
Hope is returning,
--
His winds bear my ship,
Through all storms and tears,
My rigging is safe,
My sails do not rip.

Laughing, beaming,
His light is streaming,
--
Light shines all around,
Carried on His wind,
Let that force embrace you,
And by grace be unbound.

Freeing, enduring,
Forever fulfilling,
--
It sweeps wrong away,
It lifts the soul high,
Breathe into the wind,
In His love you'll stay.

Safety, secure,
Stalwart He's pure,
--
No matter all've sinned,
Forgiveness flies now,
Darkness is broken,
I fly on the wings of His wind..

Ghosted Symphony....

What happens when life and love collide? What does it look like to see the successful lives of two young people join in concert to write a great symphony? If one unknowingly drops that great work of time, art, love and care into a fire, how would the future change? Would true love prevail and simple obsession die?
That symphony wrote itself.
Yes, the two young people did create it - but it wasn't for the reasons, nor in the manner, one of them wanted....but HE did not accidentally drop it into the fire. It seems that God brought them together in this way: by keeping them apart...for now. The one never saw the other yet.....yet, they wrote it together. Time and space were twisted to allow such happening. Their music was created, was played as a beautiful praise of angelic heights, and it was burned in a plume of smoke and ashes. Why? How? But...now only one question remains: can they, those two people in love in the future, collaborate once more to again write the sounds of epics? And will they do it face to face....or by merely living their lives - as before - and writing the sounds of a friendship to mature into something more?

Situational pondering...'tis an art perfected almost daily in this dusty old mind. Everything, life in general, is well and moving at a rapid pace as I am hurtling towards the end of another year's studies....pray that I may finish strong. And, just to be clear on this next short work, this hasn't happened to me :-) I was just thinking and wondering....using my imagination produced this. So please, as you read: imagine, wander, learn, and ...maybe, be inspired :-) Let me know if you are ;-)

Have a bodacious day!

~ Jon ~

Reunion Alegre Magnifica

When I say those words, I love you,
I’ll see them shining in your face,
Joyful tears will flow not few,
The love of my life I’ll finally embrace;
Light shines bright from her wet cheek’s sun,
As I hold her close, she’s my only one…

Far we’ve traveled; the road’s been long,
But the hardship of life’s trials,
And the pain of love’s sweet song,
Brought us together for a while;
You were everything to me,
And always will forever be!

Melancholy separation,
See, it’s a figment in your head,
My heart bleeds from your serration,
Starved blood flowed as blue, not red;
Never again will that take place,
You clearly hold fast in my heart’s space.

I took the fall – it was mine you see,
I guided you home, safely back,
You took my hand – said you loved me,
And truly nothing now I lack;
The waves of your sea filled my heart’s hole,
I was drowned, and saved by your ocean’s soul.

How happy is our joyful present!
To laugh and love, so free once more,
Separation only to resent,
Joy tears rain - you’re all I live for;
Forever, we’re no longer apart,
Light shines down on our life of love’s new start... :-)